I have noticed something over the past few…weeks, perhaps months. Perhaps my muse is gone for the time being, because my life got ten times more exciting. But while I have been working a full time job, I have been thinking over my recent plots from 2010. Most plots were awesome, epically, and I think HNZ members that have assisted me with making them come alive. I enjoy them so much. But once I got to thinking, some of these, they were started and never finished.
In particular, one I was really excited for, and had it written out, gotten Administration approval, and then…it never finished. Other plots were, but never that one. I watched that role-play fall apart, and others that I have gotten excited for, and things just never happened. I don’t know if it is just me, or if the plot was just not exciting enough. It makes me disappointed, to watch other roleplays get finished, but it is a miracle nowadays that I even get to finish just one roleplay. My muse is gone, and I work full time. But I normally have about 4-5 hours of computer time a day anyhow. I somehow catch up with lessons, but when it comes to roleplays, I get frustrated. I wonder if it will even finish. I mark my roleplays that I reply to as dead after a month without response. Half the time when I am lurking HNZ, I try to find global moderator things to go, such as updating the Graduation list, or something like that, because I don’t want to roleplay.
I see so much for characters, for biographys, for plots, for Accio, for Quidditch; I would love to participate in it all, but with my recent thoughts, I think the only thing I will be good for are my professor duties, and my moderating. Maybe a fancy looking biography. I had to shut down my Graphics shop for the time being because I don’t have the muse to make anything special. But I guess what is just disappointing to me is that sometimes, I spend so much time on a plot, it just falls apart. I think if that gets fixed, then my muse will return, and maybe I can get back on track. It takes me, up to two weeks to reply to a roleplay now, and I don’t want it to be like that. I want to broaden my plots, and stuff, but it seems like every time I try to, real life likes to kick the plans’ ass. xD
Perhaps nowadays I just need to relax and stick to bio-editing, lessons and moderating.
Hey, new blog for the new year! So, let me highlight what has happened over the previous seven days:
- Facebook drama between my mother and Diana. I have ranted before about my mom, but things have most certainly changed since then
- I end up crushing on a boy that has led me on in the past, but I am still making him grovel over it. *smirks* And the compliments and goofy stuff is nice. So, we are still friends for the time being.
- I discover a new love for unique banners (example: Hadan’s current)
- I worked my first 12 hour shift. Sucked ass
- Made new friends
From the way the new year is starting out, it seems like my real life is booked, correct? Perhaps. This year brings along at least two large plots that have everything to do with Aleyha Devearux, my pet Parselmouth, the very plans that have been made over a year ago.
I also realized that when you truly love someone, it never stops hurting. I saw that one of my ex-boyfriends have just recently became single, and my heart jumped a bit. Gah, it has been like, 3 and 1/2 years, I should have been over him already. FML. Lol. But then there is that other crush, if it works out. IF. Can you all tell that I am just a complete mess? Keep in mind that I am a female, most females would know the time of when a woman’s feelings and attitude get all topsy turvy. I realized also, I want to be a mother one day. Well, pregnant, but not a mother. Ish. I know for a fact I am not ready to be a mother and support a baby (plus, marriage for me is required, and when I have some free moneys, I am going to buy me a purity ring!), but just the thought of being pregnant sounds cute and stuff, but scary and painful. I am friends with a pregnant girl in the class. I am probably empathizing for her, because I only felt like that when I was in short distance of her.
I am going to wrap this up with some things I look forward to within the next few months or so:
- Contemplating actually going out and dating
- Changing my last name
- Going to the doctor after I have insurance
- Getting a new car
- Perhaps a cousin of mine moving in with me
- Maybe when my aunt gets married, depending on when, if my uncle will allow me and my cousin to move in with him to attend a better college up there (I need to talk to both of them :r)
- And college in the summer
Seems like I have it all down. Ranting, probably just something that frustrates me, but really, some things I started, they don’t mean much to me unless it affects my characters. So, if you all need a plot or a banner (absolutely NEED one), hit me up on my PM box, or on skype on the weekends. I am willing to RP with anyone, as long as there is no godmodding.
The Dark Orchid named Sir Kaitlyn